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HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER
Simple steps inspired by iconic love letters
Does this thought of writing a love letter leave you feeling more anxious than amorous? Don’t worry! While researching the most iconic love letters in history, and what made them so memorable, a pattern began to emerge. Most of the great love letters weren’t perfect or perfectly written. But they were heartfelt and had several key themes in common.
We’ve used this research to create a step-by-step process to help you write your own love letter, one that is personal and powerful. But before diving into the specifics of what themes to include, let’s take a moment to explore why a personal love letter can be so meaningful.
Loneliness and feelings of disconnection are on the rise—even among those in committed romantic relationships. Smartphones, with their constant demands for our attention, are a major factor. Researchers have even coined the term “phubbing” (a combination of phone and snub) to describe how phones impact our intimate connections.
The digital world often pulls us away from the present, and in a romantic relationship, attention is everything. Without attention, romance fades. Taking the time to write a love letter creates a powerful moment of connection, breaking down the digital wall and showing your partner just how much they mean to you.
What Do Famous Love Letters Have in Common?
If you spend a few minutes understanding what makes some love letters especially memorable, you’ll begin to get ideas for writing your own. Iconic love letters often share similar structure, themes, and imagery. (These similarities can inspire you, but they’re not a set of instructions that you must follow. Just keep these points in mind as you prepare to write.) Famous love letters often follow a similar structure:
1.The writer expresses a deep emotional bond with the beloved
2.The writer describes passion and attraction, both physical and emotional
3.The writer describes the pain of separation. Any time spent apart from the loved one is painful, and there is a real longing to be together again as soon as possible.
4.The writer wants their beloved to know that they are committed, body, heart and soul.
- The letter invokes the five senses.
- The letters use metaphors. Metaphors are used to compare the loved one to various elements like a brilliant, white-hot strike of lightning, a warm and safe shelter, or a gently rolling river.
- The Letters are Hand-Written. Handwriting makes a bigger emotional impact than typing, and a love letter is all about making an emotional impact.
Iconic love letters also share quite a few words in common.
Below are the most frequently occurring words.
Love
Desire
Missing
Absence
Wanting
Longing
Craving
Happiness
Joy
Beautiful
Fascinate
Inspire
Admire
Loyal
Faithful
Devotion
Yearn
Ache
Do these spark your imagination? Are there any words you would want to add?
Ready to Write?
Below is a step-by-step process based on the format of the most iconic love letters in history. But your love story is unique, so your letter should be, too. If you have completed the brainstorming work, you should have plenty of material to use. Use these steps in any order, and feel free to omit or customize the steps.
1)Open with their name, and a statement about what you feel in their presence. “When I am with you, I feel…”
2)Compliment your beloved. What makes them stand out? What captured your heart. Try to invoke the five senses, and use a metaphor if you have brainstormed one.
3)Emphasize your unique connection. Use phrases that convey the depth of your connection, such as “you touch my soul” or “we see the world alike.” This is another great place for a metaphor.
4)Describe one moment that stands out to you in your relationship. Try to describe what you felt in that moment.
5)Describe the pain or sadness you feel in their absence, or how much joy you feel when you are reunited.
6)End strong. Remind your beloved of your commitment, your desire for their happiness, and why they are the only one for you.
There you have it: the complete guide to writing a swoon-worthy love letter. I hope you enjoy the process of crafting the letter as much as your beloved enjoys reading it.
